Across the land was another princess, who was looking for the same. Though she wouldn't admit it ... And she too found romance and happiness in two different gentlemen. A ninja with lips of gold and a foreigner that made her squirm and giggle.
Yet neither princess would figure out how to nab their princes. It was a constant up-hill battle of wits and nerves. But then one day everything changed. Both girls approached there catches and ...
But then police sirens went off and both girls woke up. Looked around there courtyard and felt it.
Heartache ...
[end scene]
- location:DCourt
- emotion:
drained - tunes:Black Horse and a Cherry Tree - KT Tunstill
When I say, "I'm not his type," I really mean, "I'm not good enough for him."
But I guess it's not a secret now ... is it?
- emotion:
depressed
This is what happens when I have time to think. I'm sitting here, with my PR Writing assignment done and no one around. So I start listening to music, and of course old solo songs come on. Then my mind starts racing ... what would I have been?
Looking at friends that kept with the dancing and kept up with the dancer's attitude, I would have eventually turned into a snob. A coldhearted bitch of a person that only cared about my performances and making it to the City Ballet.
But then I remember one major thing, that helped with my decision to retire; my family. God, it's so funny to think about. My mom is absolutely amzing and raised me with such respect. I wasn't allowed to have that mentality, the dancer's snobbiness. I was constantly reminded of who I really was and where I came from; whether it was THE LOOK or a verbal knock-down. I never got a big head from the success that I had with dancing.
Never was I allowed to pull the "I don't have to, I was crowned queen." I would usually get slapped in the back of the head and was told that I would participate and smile like I loved it. That's what made me into the person that I am today. Most girls who were crowned queen still showcase their crowns. Me? It's packed away for when my girls start playing dress up with my old costumes. And that's where it belongs. Crowns shouldn't be given to people because they are simply the best. They should be earned by helping and laughing, by giving a damn about the smaller people and keeping that friendly attitude when you are crowned.
Nah, I don't think about what would have been ... and I try not to regret giving it up. The past is the past, and I remember everything that I learned. I learned respect and honor. I learned pride and discipline. I even learned the term family.
- emotion:
nostalgic
Later in life, high school years, we were told exactly what we were suppose to look like and who we were suppose to be by the media of little girls who grew up and never found their knights. Princesses of the runway in size 00 clothes showed us that drinking our days away was the new norm. Suddenly school became more of a "babysitting" storage area, than a place of learning. And boys? Oh boys! We were to compete for the most popular and hottest boy. The winner would be decided by who got him. She was the real princess, and to futher this reality, we give each of these princesses, from the different schools, a crown and call all of them our queens. Homecoming and Prom. How charming of a life!
But who wants that life anyway? A life where you're constantly turning in circles; watching for backstabbing friends. A life where you're going to school with a handle of vodka secretly stashed in a water bottle. Drunks and prostitutes; that's who we're suppose to be. Little girls of the world look up to us, but more so celebrities. And they're just as bad. Partying every night, never wearing underwear! Who are you people? And what happened to the stories from our childhood? What happened to the princess who fell in love and lived happily ever after?
Where the HELL is Prince Charming?!
And where are the other knights of the world? The ones who supposidly will sweep you off your feet and make you feel as if all int he world is perfect and wonderful when you are with him. Are they real? Or just another fantasy that society lies to us, to make girls want to grow up to be what little girls are suppose to be. Sugar and spice and ALL things nice.
Life lessons learned ... princesses are whores and knights are just an enigma.
- emotion: contemplative
When I was younger, my great grandfather use to tell me constantly how beautiful, and special, and lovable I was. Such a smart man, I miss him so much. He would tell me how energetic I was and that I would learn to use that to my advantge. How so correct!!!!
He also told me over and over again to never let a man make me cry. Love was never about crying. Love is about family and friends, and people who would never make you cry. But it seems that as of lately, all I have been is upset with love.
I tried figuring out what was wrong with me. Why I couldn't have the man that I wanted? I cut my hair, and started habits that I never wanted to start back with. Habits that made me so sick in high school, but alas no one knew. And still nothing.
It wasn't until recently hanging out with an amazing friend from home that has me thinking about different things. We agreed that we like this Teri. Sometimes I hate myself, but that's the beauty of being YOU! You can hate and love yourself all you want, but no outside forces can change who you are. You are the only one who can decide which path your life will take and the obsticles you will conquer.
I wear my emotions on my sleeve, though I try to hide them. I wrinkle my nose when I'm unsure of a situation, and I try to take as many secret glances at the boy I like whenever possible. Usually I get cught, and try to play it off. Sometimes I wish that I had a boyfriend so that I would be happy, but then am attacked in bed by my amazing roommates and decide that life is perfect. I wouldn't change anything for the world.
Looking back on the relationship that I am/was in with a man from home, it came too easily. And Grandpop always said, "If it came that easy and left that fast, then it isn't worth crying over." He's so right. The man came into my life way too easily and is leaving before anything can even be developed. So why am I upset? It isn't meant to be, and should therefore be let go. Maybe happiness will follow...
And Grandpop, you were right! I am amazing. I love talking and meeting people, and I plan to do something with it. I plan to help children any way that I can. I love the passion of cooking that you passed down to me, and the confidence that you instilled in me at such a young age. Thank you for teaching me how to be tough and sweet at the same time. And definitely many thanks for not tattling on me when I got into mischief.
I miss you so much, it hurts sometimes, but I'll always remember your sayings and your smile.
Hearts and Kisses
Forever and Always
Tua Piccolina
R.I.P A. Polligruto <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 9 years gone but still in my heart
- tunes:The Show Goes On - Bruce Hornsby
Saturday morning I wake up with swollen tonsils, unable to breathe. Symptoms were steady and unchanging so I figured I could ride out the sickness. Everyone, including my mom, was hounding me to go get them looked at. I thought I was fine. No, I WAS FINE!
Sunday night ... not so much. Apparently I can't keep foods in my stomach now and it still hurts in my chest to breathe. Things better shape up fast because I honestly don't have time to be this sick. I don't GET this sick, so why the hell is is happening now?!
- emotion:
sick
I'm still laughing! Soooo I've heard some HILARIOUS news as of lately, and I really don't care if it's bad for me to be laughing. Just recently found out that an ex-hookup has a new girlfriend. And I'm so happy for him. But the part that's making me laugh is the fact that she's in her 40s! HaHa he's 24/25!!!! She almost doubles his age. But whatever! HaHa.
I was telling Gar the other day that I've been feeling kinda depressed and bad about myself. LOW self-esteem lately. But that just boasted my life. HaHa ...
Oh lord. Still laughing. Where's Becca?! I need her! HaHa
- emotion:
hyper
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